My Yin and Yang

Rem MarathonThere is a correlation between obstacles, even when they are opposite purpose. With each marathon I suffer from the effects of training differently. So far it has NOT yet stopped me from an event, but for this fifth marathon, I thought blogging would give stability in the training. Maybe by writing about the charm and challenges I would distract myself from the inevitable stresses and doubts encountered.

Each event has been a different emotional journey I have LOVED for different reasons. Much of the knowledge is about myself, so to manage the psyche from becoming the dominator of training by writing seemed reasonable counter balance. The consequence is the traditional angst of running is actually being supported by the writing…at least for the past few weeks. It was gradually established in the most important portion of physical training for HFM Marathon and also writing this blog.

Physical training for an event is always a combination of excitement and challenge. With 4 marathons, several other events including the Tough Mudder in Oshkosh last September, I have MORE physical and emotional information to process. Training has been a relatively smooth progression and with less than 2 months left in training; as if in the training plan, my psyche struck with pin point accuracy at every fear I have of what I face.   My subconscious is providing a fair amount of negativity.

           Twenty-six point two miles of running; within a 6 hour span start to finish.

            So WHAT if it is a flat beautiful course????… it’s 26.2 miles

            Small, friendly, friends and people I know may see me fail

            I drive into Manitowoc, 1 mile away from my home… 26.2 miles, really ?

            Isn’t Sheboygan about 26.2 miles away??

            When will I learned to keep my big mouth shut?!

            I am obsessing on the distance … 26.2 miles.

 

So even if my physical and aerobic training is going well, writing “jogged” memories of past hurdles, and it affects training, food consumption and sleep and reminded me of current limits. YES we are back on that road again. This psyche is an educated adversary; the Yin to my Yang in this journey to the HFM Marathon. If it proves successful in dismantling my resolve; or if it changes little ahead on the process and completion of Marathon 5, it is just part of the journey… and some more legitimate thoughts I did have dismissed in the past and wonder IF any share similar thoughts. Were you able to move forward?  How?

           Will my legs hold up?

           How much liquid should I drink on race day?

           Should I get new shoes now?

           Why is a marathon 26.2 miles?

           Is it too late to back out???

           Why am I crying?

           I can’t sleep!

           My dreams are all about problems!

           What if I get hurt?

           Am I going to die?

          What was I thinking?

          Am I crazy?

          What is your nightmare?

The 5th Marathon Medal has great significance to me and I am willing to work for it. This portion of training is the most difficult for me… self doubt. I hope today my physical and emotional discussions are realistic and I prevail to complete this event. But my psyche does not play fair and does not recognize boundaries when it creeps into my head. So I will not know until the finish and new conditions are overcome, so I train one day at a time.

Adding congratulations to 39-year-old Meb Keflezighi, the first USA citizen to win the Boston Marathon in 30+ years. It was a personal record of 2:08:37 and Meb is still a runner with obstacles.

 

About 6hadleyrem0

I am doing the best that I can :-) that's it.

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