coping mechanisms

WHAT I lack in swiftness, I have gained in coping mechanisms.
Today I went for a short run outside. I still call it running because as far as I can see I’m the only 64-year-old female around here “running” It’s special when I can get outside and today’s run was not exceptional at first. I got to the corner on the first leg of my trip and then it was a long downhill and even with gravity assist, not an impressive pace. The second mile it just so happened there was a slow-moving station wagon heading in the same direction as me. The car stopped and a young man jumped out and ran between the houses on the street. I am curious and female so I was alert to what route I was on options, and the direction the man was heading. Wherever he went, not 10 seconds later he reappeared and ran back to the waiting car, climbed in and shut the door. Still, a few lots ahead of me and by now I had slowed my pace. Gravity was no longer my friend so under my own steam I was NO match for the young man’s rate of movement. My plan was to stay behind them, but somehow I still gained ground on the car so it was easier to see inside. Next to the guy on the passenger side were at least 2 others in the car. The driver, the runner, and one or 2 in the back seat. I know when you are alone being confident and keeping your head up is a good way to avoid being a victim…but that’s not a posture for runners. I just kept moving forward and slow thinking I did not want to turn my back on the vehicle. I was running faster than the car and I closed in at the back bumper, and the car slowed again and stopped just in front of me.

The window of the car was open…and the guy turned and look right at me with his right arm partially out the window. ..That’s when I saw he was holding something in his hand…He saw that I was behind and he pitched the thing towards the house directly in front of me…the “thing” turned out to be a newspaper and it landed squarely on the porch of the house to my right. The car sped up and 3 more houses got their morning paper as I kept my pace behind them. The danger passed I decided that it was a matter of time before I would be in the path of the free flying press so I hurried forward even with the car and in line with the guy tossing papers. As I swooshed by I looked in at the occupants smiling and said…”I don’t know if I can keep up with you…but I will try” They laughed but kept moving with their deliveries and did not adjust anymore to me. I finished running in my neighborhood crossing their paths 3 more times. Each time they spotted me they waved or made some remark of apparent encouragement or challenge. The last time the runner hollered from across the street and I told him I won because I was finished. I noted while I ran, when I saw them or a paper, each newspaper was delivered with pinpoint accuracy. Until next week.

#whenIm64 #TYMarkZuckerberg If you don’t have time for a Birthday story, the short version is, I am not upset about being 64. Considering advancement in medicine, technology, and my genetic makeup I statistically have a good chance of living to 100 years old so it really only leaves me 36 years (my original goal). I may need to kick it up a notch if I want to finish this on a high note but all things I’m OK with the status quo (related to my age). In the wee hours of April 20th I woke up to thunderous noise, clashing, and pounding and intermittent flashing lights. Immediately and fully awake and aware of the date and my age and still knew it was a spring storm, not a party. Later 2 tornado warnings had me peering out windows but it’s OK it was just me, I really don’t like surprises…at 64 if not custom or routine, there is NO reason to stun or astonish me, I prefer to leave shock and awe to the youth. I am counting on 100. ON the other hand as birthdays go, this number will take some getting used to. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 64 years; I should rephrase that..I FEEL 64, it just doesn’t seem like years. I could NOT have fathomed I would live this long so if I failed to list or document accomplishment it’s slightly disheartening. At 64 what I lack in successes I’m going with my global remark..capacity doesn’t always lead to achievement LOL…. “that’s my birthday story” but it ALL leads to the honorary mentions I enjoyed from everyone (via FB). They cut into my day perfectly, and so much fun reading them. Every post and greeting was a fresh Birthday smile… I don’t want to be sappy, but <3 thank you <3. And it was because of the Beatles that it's a milestone.

Castles

From peaceful and simple life, to structures over filled.Obtruded concrete streaming smoke, filling skies with things to choke.  Reckless lives, defiant stares; replaced the ease in breaths of air.What took away the passive views, and left these behind to amuse.   Filled with pride and useless rooms. Excesses tossed to less consumed.

Leave indulgence at the door; should we build them anymore?

No layers of leaves or untouched snows. Life moves in flickered glows.  Once useful homes NOW deprived; destroying precious countryside.  Accolades from restlessness; expects someone else to clear the mess.  It’s the wants that shaped descent! Out of which grows violence.

With regard to numbered days, crushed consciousness with yield.  Check influence at the door ; how can we do this anymore?  We’ve been busy with the lie, building homes in the sky.  Heroic efforts all in vain. Accumulations not sustained.

Some give up to save the ship; and lose the gains despite the grip.  Running circles and more to do. But less time and people too!  Educators seek to guide; so could our spirits then survive?  Check your life and what’s in store; we can NOT do this anymore.

We may want to quit the game of larger castles on the land.  Before our time for learning views, to put together useful tools.  Organize and comprehend; will bring back ease in lives again.  No matter what our money buys; earth wins when greedy dies.

Humble fragile lives believe; born with nothing, nothing leaves.

Leave the greed at the door; we should not do this anymore.

 

#Guns by rem hadley

I grew up around guns;  they hung openly on the wall (not locked or encased)  They were removed and returned many times in a week, month, year as I recall.  Guns were part of our life, used for hun…

Source: #Guns by rem hadley

#Sex

Have you ever read “All Creatures Great and Small” by James Herriot ?   We lived in WI at the time my teenage son Derek came home from school with the book ( 8th or 9th grade I think)….and it sat on his desk for a week unmoved.   I did not mention I had read it when I asked if he was reading it?  His  “NO” was emphatic but the “not yet” was weak.      I was not a parent to censor what my kids were interested in and they showed good judgment so generally I watched  what they watched and read what they read especially if it was questionable.   So of course I needed clarity on the “not yet“.  

Derek said that his class was assigned the book…everyone had to read it.  He mumbled his lack of interest.  Still I didn’t tell him I had read it or try to persuade him to read the book.  Instead I said I heard it was good…though no apparent attitude change with that.  lol   So I persisted because it was for homework thus part of his grade.  Also I wanted Derek to read the book as those reciprocal discussions were something that I loved.   

  I knew Derek’s ethics , and I knew the book so I offered…”well….. IF you read JUST the first chapter this morning and still don’t want to finish it…then I’ll help you do your HW.”   Half hearted but he did agree.  Partly because he was a good student, and I knew he would do his homework but I think he knew he might as well get it over with.  Within the hour he got to it. Next thing I hear was his laughter. 

Derek laughs when something is funny…NOT just to be sociable.  In other words his demeanor to me was transparent.  Since I knew the laughter was genuine, and it was also my own reaction to what I read in the book.   I eventually ventured past his open door to confirm.   Several times in a stalking kind of way.  Confirmation that Derek was well past chapter 1.  I would have to say it was such a mix of pride and alarm.

 The pride:  I wasn’t sure he would like the book…but he made a deal and he stuck with it.  

The alarm: …well IF you have read All Creatures Great and Small  you know the contents are actually pretty racy in the animal world.

Derek did not apparently have any trouble grasping it’s content.  What’s your point rem??  There is not much more generic and unthreatening way to talk about reproduction to a teenager.  The actual conversations about the book (of life) are not as memorable to me as is the fact that it was most likely the first in depth and adult conversation I had with my son.  I may have faults…but my instinct for grasping the moment are exceptional. 

I’ve been running since late 80’s. 5 marathons and various other events…I’ve always exercised or taught fitness somehow…people liked to tell me I would wear out my knees or hips…or have a heart attack…Still it was too nice NOT to go for a run yesterday/Monday 10-12… SOOOO in the afternoon I took off on my usual route…on the bluff and through the park always staying close to the lake. Stopped back in at the house for some water after 3 miles…and headed back out for the last half…the wind had picked up whipping the leaves and scattering them in heaps along the sidewalks and curbs; it was a great run closing in on 5 miles about 10 blocks from home…the piles of leaves hid something of a heave in the sidewalk that caught my right foot and the rest of me continued forward. My knees hit first, then my hands and finally my chin, I jumped up from the ground checked my mobility and ran 10 blocks back to the house. At 62 I have had my first running injury…I broke my right middle finger and sprained the one on my left hand…I have a bruise about 4 inches on my jaw…and both knees are skinned and bruised….but ALL joints are in good working order. Here is the worst part…at my DRs office the questioner of the medical field I was required to answer. Was I drinking, did I get up too fast, is my home organized or cluttered, how was the lighting, do I have grab bars in my home…then suggestions on how I can prevent falls….eat healthy, wear rubber soled shoes, limit my use of alcohol, lose weight, be careful around pets…and my personal favorite…get more exercise to improve muscle strength and flexible joints. NO matter what my condition…really? 60+ years I wanted SOOOO bad to dare the entire staff to a plank challenge RANT over.